I'm a Witch, Dudley
by theemotionalrangeofateaspoon
Summary: Dudley has moved on since he left number 4, Privet Drive. His own life is going swimmingly until his new girlfriend tells him something he never expected, and he may need to consult his estranged cousin. Rated T for a little bit of...inappropriate...language.
1. Chapter 1

"Take care, Big D"

The last words Harry had spoken to him. Dudley hadn't really thought about Harry since the day they'd left number 4 Privet Drive. For a start, it had been so busy that he simply hadn't had time to think about his cousin. But now, almost 10 years later, everything had calmed down enough that he could just recall the last decade of his life.

That time the dementors attacked Harry and him when they were 15 was his first thought. That was the first time he'd experienced how dangerous the world could be and appreciated that Harry actually had a tough time in his own world, he didn't need Dudley and his parents making his life out of school miserable too. After that he'd just begun to think about everything that had happened since he and Harry had parted ways.

Dudley's parents had gone to America, said they wanted to live a peaceful life there. Obviously they thought wizards only existed in Britain, sometimes even Dudley couldn't believe how ignorant Petunia and Vernon could be. He also suspected that it was because they thought he'd grown up so much that he couldn't be their little Dudders anymore. He had a girlfriend, and his own job – a well-respected position in an oil company – and his own house. He didn't need or want to be spoiled by his over-bearing mum and dad anymore, so they'd left him.

Speak of the devil, in came Dudley's girlfriend with a cup of tea. She put on the TV and watched a movie, but Dudley couldn't concentrate, he could only think about how much he missed his cousin, even though he'd never really thought much of him.

Dudley said Harry's name aloud by accident.

"Harry?" said his girlfriend in her Scottish accent, "I knew a Harry at school, he was a year younger than me, went out with him for a bit, but it didn't work out between us. Not that you'd want to know about him," she blushed.

"Well, this Harry was my cousin, same age as me. I treated him horribly for a while but now I realise how much I miss him, I wish I could take back almost everything I ever said to him. He saved my life once," Dudley told her.

"Do you want to talk about it? Tell me about him, what was he like?" she asked.

"His parents died when he was a baby, car crash, he had a scar left from it. He lived with us and my parents and I treated him horribly. His full name was Harry James Potter."

Dudley's girlfriend spat out her tea and dropped her tea. Her chocolate brown eyes were wide with disbelief and she was fiddling with her long, dark hair.

"What shape was the scar, and where was it?" she asked.

"It was a lightning bolt, on his forehead. Here, love, the cup smashed. I'll clean it up for you."

"No, no I need to tell you something," her voice shook.

"You're as white as a sheet," Dudley sat back down, "What do you need to tell me, sweetheart?"

"You won't like this, not at all, and your parents wouldn't approve, they looked after Harry and still never liked him, oh my gosh, you're going to hate me…"

"Cho, you aren't making much sense. But it would take something truly horrible to make me stop loving you"


	2. Chapter 2

**Hiya! Well first off, WOW! I can't believe the positive response I got for that first chapter! Yes, I know, I forgot to put this "author's note" in at the beginning and end, bad teaspoon. But I won't forget this time! **

**Thanks to _HallowRain8587_ and _Shelby Hermione Malfoy_ for the reviews, it means a lot. A very special thank you to my best friend on here and in real life, _epitomeoffangirls_ (if you aren't reading Notes of Survival then you need to, right now) for the feedback and for being my beta.**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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Dudley was speechless. He didn't know quite what surprised him the most. The fact that Harry and he had both been with the same girl, Cho was a witch or that she'd thought he wouldn't still love her when she turned out to be a witch! He wasn't even that annoyed, of course she'd kept it from him, Dudley didn't know about Harry until he was 11.

He couldn't shake the feeling that he needed help. He was a Dursley, brought up to hate everything that wasn't just so. He had next to no idea about the wizarding world and needed help to understand. Oddly enough, Dudley didn't think that Waterstone's would have a book called "Understanding Your Witch Girlfriend – for Dummies." He needed help and he knew only one person who could help.

_Dear Harry,_

_I know, I haven't talked to you since we parted ways. Mum and Dad have moved to America, Grunnings is expanding and they wanted a "quiet life." I'm alright about it, I'm not Ickle Diddykins anymore, thank goodness._

_I wouldn't be surprised if you won't help me, I treated you like crap for years, but you're the only person I can turn to in this situation. You see, I've met this girl. I love her, and she told me yesterday that she's a witch, Cho Chang. I know that you know her, apparently the highlight of your fifth year wasn't the dementor attack. Thank you again, you know, for saving my soul._

_Cho said she'll let me borrow her owl, Cedric, to send this to you. She thinks I'm sending a letter because I was thinking about how much I miss you. I know I don't deserve help but please, I need to know about the wizarding world._

_For a start I need these questions answered, even if you won't answer any more._

_Is she going to get in trouble for telling me?_

_Will I be allowed to go to wizarding areas with her? (like that street where you went with the giant man)_

_How many wizards are there?_

_Is anyone else I know a wizard?_

_How does magic work?_

_Take your time but please think about it._

_Yours,_

_Dudley_

It took him a long time to decide exactly how to say everything that he wanted to say but eventually, Dudley had finished his letter. Cedric was quite a charming owl and stood very still until Cho was finished tying the letter to him. It was only once he'd left that Dudley remembered where Cedric's name came from.

"Cedric, that boy that Harry used to have nightmares about. I used to tease him about it and say that he was his boyfriend" Dudley said to Cho, "Something horrible happened to him, didn't it?"

Cho looked like she was going to cry and said, "He was killed by Voldemort in my fifth year, Harry's fourth. Harry did everything he could to save him, but Voldemort was too good. My owl's named after him because….." she trailed off, looking embarrassed.

"How many boyfriends did you have at Hogwarts?" said Dudley, jokingly.

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**Thanks for reading it! I promise I'll post the next chapter soon! Please favourite/follow and review, it really helps me to improve! LOVE YOU LOTS LIKE JELLY TOTS ~ _theemotionalrangeofateaspoon_ xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hiya! Ohmigosh even more positive response to chapter 2! You are all incredible whether you reviewed, followed, favourited or just read this story! Here comes Chapter 3 hope you enjoy it! **

**Disclaimer: I do not and never will own these wonderful characters, or the world of Harry Potter. They belong to my queen, JK Rowling!**

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"No!"

"Harry he's your cousin" Ginny pleaded with her husband.

"And he treated me like rubbish for years, I won't help him." Harry argued back

"You said he told you that he didn't think you were-"Ginny retaliated by Harry cut across her.

"I don't care if we shook hands and said goodbye, I thought he was going to be out of my life forever, I will not send a letter back to him! He can work it out himself, I learned how to deal with witches by myself, I'm sure he can do it!"

"What was that book that Ron gave you for your 17th? _12 Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches_?"

"Ginny, I won't help him and that's final. I'm not going to fight with you about this," Harry said.

Ginny knew she was fighting a losing battle. She heard a crash in the next room.

"James!" they said in unison. "I'll go," Harry said.

Ginny picked up the letter and almost threw it in the fire, but she stopped herself. Maybe, Harry would give advice to Dudley, he just wouldn't know about it. It had been a month since Harry had gotten the letter, but had only told her about it today. The advice for Dudley was long overdue. She began to write.

_Dear Dudley,_

_I can't believe you've gotten in touch after all these years! Great to hear you're doing well, and that you aren't the same as you used to be! So you met Cho, small world isn't it? No hard feelings about the old days, we're okay now._

_I'm sure I can help out with your problems. Honestly, it's not hard. So to answer your questions:_

_No, Cho will not get into trouble for telling you, she really, really loves you if she told you. Loads of muggles know about wizardry; wizards can be born from non-magical parents and there's half-bloods everywhere. Besides, she wasn't exposing wizardry, she knew that you already knew about me and therefore was able to tell you._

_Yes she can take you with her to places like Diagon Alley etc. My friend Hermione's parents used to come with her when we went to get our school supplies._

_There are about 12,000 to 15,000 wizards and witches in Britain. There's magical folk all around the world though. If Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia think there aren't wizards in America then they're in for a rather nasty shock!_

_There's a very good chance, but I can't tell you because I wouldn't know them and you won't be able to tell either. Our generation of wizard is pretty good at blending in with muggles, the older generation, not so much._

_I genuinely don't know, maybe you should ask Cho, she was in Ravenclaw at school. That was one of the school houses, kind of like your school family. Ravenclaw was known for being the cleverest house._

_Please write back soon and say hi to Cho for me. If there's anything else I can help with please let me know._

_Yours,_

_Harry_

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**Naughty Ginny! Hope you enjoyed it, thank you so much for reading!**

**Thanks to _HallowRain8587_, _Dark is Walkin' the Green Mile_, , _dianaanne_, _S-Wanderer999 _ and the lovely guest for reviewing.**

**Thank you to absolutely everyone who favourited and followed or read, I couldn't name you all because there's so many of you but I still love you just as much!**

**As pecial thank you to my best friend here and in real life _epitomeoffangirls_ for reviewing and being my beta. By the way, if you aren't reading her current and only (so far) story Notes of Survival then who are you? You must read it as soon as you finish this one!**

**THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! If you haven't already then please follow and/or favourite, I don't care how many times you review because it helps so much, _constructive_ criticism is greatly appreciated! Until next time, LOVE YOU LOTS LIKE JELLY TOTS ~ theemotionalrangeofateaspoon xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**HELLLLLOOOOOO! I'm awful I know, I was on holiday and had no interwebs for ages so I'm sooooo sorry that this hasn't been up sooner, but it was my top priority after homework, which I may or may not have just finished last minute...**

**Thank you for sticking with it and waiting patiently for the next installment and here it is! Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not and never will own these wonderful characters, I'm just borrowing them. they belong to my queen, JK Rowling!**

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_Dear Harry,_

_Thank you for helping me! I'd begun to give up all hope of you replying, and knew that I deserved it, but you're the best cousin in the world! That sounds really mushy but I mean it, you're great._

_So, how's life with you? What's it like living a full wizard life? Cho said that you're married and you've got a little boy, congratulations! _

_Big news too, Cho and I have been together for 5 years now and, well, I wanted to know if there were any traditions in the wizarding world about proposals? I don't really think there would be, but I want to do it right._

_Thanks again for your help, we should really meet up soon, I would love to meet Ginny and James!_

_Yours,_

_Dudley_

It was short, but Dudley wanted to get the letter off with Harry's owl, Tonks, as soon as he could.

"Dudley, I'm going out, do you want to come?" Cho shouted from the living room.

"Okay, I'll just send off my letter. What are we going to do?"

"We're going to pick up some stuff from Diagon Alley and then going to meet my parents at the Leaky Cauldron for a Butterbeer."

There was a pause as Dudley remembered Diagon Alley, he'd been there before, but tried to decipher everything else she'd said.

"The Leaky Cauldron is a pub, and Butterbeer is the best drink known to wizards," Cho explained

"Better than that Firewhisky that you let me try on Saturday?" Dudley joked. He gave Tonks the letter and went to get his coat.

"Yes!" Cho laughed and they went out of the door hand in hand.

"Harry!" shouted Ginny.

Harry almost fell over as a toy broomstick went swooshing past him. It could only go about 3 feet up in the air but was pretty dangerous if James was on it. Andromeda and Teddy started laughing but had to try and catch him when he almost crashed into Arnold's cage.

"Yes, sweetheart?" Harry peeked around the kitchen door where Ginny was rushing about trying to pack up all her notebooks.

"I'm going to interview Viktor at the Leaky Cauldron on being a manager for the Bulgarian quidditch team. Thought you might want have a Butterbeer and a catch up."

"Yeah alright, I'll get some Floo Powder, have you been taking some tips from Hermione recently?" he asked, as Ginny's broomstick fell into her small handbag with a soft thud.

"What? Oh the handbag thing, yeah, I wanted to make it bigger and she told me about her little beaded bag when you were on the Horcrux hunt. My broomstick needs a touch up on the paint work," she called to Harry, who was getting ready to jump into the fire. "Ready?"

"Ready. Oh gosh, remember the first time I used Floo Powder?" he joked.

"Yes!" Ginny laughed and they stepped in one after the other.

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**Thank you for reading! **

**A HUGE special thank you to my beta and best friend here and in real life epitomeoffangirls (CHECK HER OUT SHE'S INCREDIBLE), you know for betaing and encouraging and being amazeballs.**

**Thank you also to _preeves, Zireael07, Thegirlwhocouldopenflowers_ and another lovely guest who all reviewed!**

**And a final thank you to absolutely everyone who favourited, followed or just read, you are incredible and I love you!**

**I just realised how much I thank everyone but really I'm grateful for you! Please follow/favourite and review - _constructive_ criticism is greatly appreciated. Until the next time, LOVE YOU LOTS LIKE JELLY TOTS ~theemotionalrangeofateaspoon xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Yes, I'm a really bad writer for not posting in yonks but I'm back and I'm going to finish this story. If you want to skip this bit of my spiel then feel free but I feel like an apology is in order.**

**To those who reviewed the last chapter, I said I would not leave it for two weeks before I updated this, however I left it for a couple months. I don't have any excuse except that I was done with writing a fic with more than one chapter when I hadn't really thought about what was going to happen in it and I was suffering from severe writer's block. So, I am going to tie up the loose ends in this story and then only do oneshots for a while.**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

****Disclaimer: I do not and never will own these wonderful characters, I'm just borrowing them. they belong to my queen, JK Rowling!****

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"Ginny," Harry said urgently. Viktor had left and now they were alone finishing the dregs of their Butterbeers.

"Hmm?" Ginny wasn't really listening, she was bent over her broomstick checking that the man at Broomstix had done the repairs correctly. Her long red hair flopped over her face so she couldn't see what Harry could.

"Ginny, I see him. It's Dudley, why is he here?" Ginny bolted upright and scanned the room looking for a Cho, and the man who would be with her. Dudley and Cho were at the other side of the pub, with half empty Butterbeers in their hands. There were no other witches or wizards blocking their view, if either of them left the others gaze then Ginny was in for it.

On the other side of the room, Cho felt she was being watched and turned around. She saw a head of bright red hair and a flash of emerald green eyes.

"Oh my gosh, Dudley it's Harry! And Ginny, we should go say hi!" Cho exclaimed, tugging at Dudley's sleeve. Dudley caught Harry's eye, but was surprised to see that Harry looked neither glad nor excited to see him. Whereas the girl with red hair, who could only be Ginny, had gone bright red.

Shit. That's all that Ginny could think. Well, she had quite a few other obscenities in her mind but shit seemed to sum it all up. She downed her glass and tried to drag Harry away but the other couple had already arrived at their table.

"Harry! I can't believe how long it's been!" Dudley was grinning from ear to ear and held out his hand to Harry, who shook it and smiled sarcastically. If Ginny wasn't about to be found out then the contorted look on Harry's face would have had her in fits. "And this must be your wife. Ginny, it's lovely to meet you."

Ginny smiled awkwardly and nodded at Cho, who was quite obviously thrilled about the two cousins being united again. If only Ginny could say the same.

"It's brilliant to see you again Harry, and you too Ginny. I've really missed you!" Cho said.

"Yeah, well you know, it's been busy since we left Hogwarts. Goodbye Dumbledore's Army, hello family!" Ginny said all in a rush, ending up in another awkward smile after Harry failed to reply to Cho. That wasn't what she meant to say at all.

Everyone stared at her and she went crimson. All she could think was "I'm going to get caught, any minute Dudley will mention the letter and Harry will kill me"

"Cho, yeah it's great to see you again," Harry said through gritted teeth "and fantastic to see you, Dudley," he sneered, "Ginny and I really have to get going but hope to see you another time soon!"

Harry steered Ginny out of the pub and into the communal fire place, leaving a very confused Dudley and Cho.

"We need to talk," he said, "about a lot."

"You couldn't be more specific could you?" she laughed nervously. Harry shot her a look.

"Firstly, there's no point in hiding it anymore, after we argued about Dudley, I thought about changing my mind and went back to the study to look at the letter. Where, I saw you scribbling away like anything. I was mad, as in, how dare she write to my dick of a cousin when I explicitly said that I wanted fuck all to do with him, kind of mad."

"Look, I just didn't want him to be in at the deep end when he thought he'd made up with you and could turn to you for help. When you first came into the wizarding world you were lost and learning new things, sometimes being laughed at when you didn't know things and I didn't want him to have to be alone, especially when he wanted to impress Cho. I'm sorry for going behind your back but I didn't want to arg – "

" – But then I thought about how lucky I was to be married to a woman who is headstrong and has the determination to change something if she doesn't like it." Harry smiled fondly and took her hand. Ginny into his embrace, relieved that she wasn't in trouble.

"Secondly, I know you were right about helping him. He's a different person now and I shouldn't hold anything against him, especially because I did accept his apology before we parted. I just didn't want to be around anything that reminded me of the years I spent in the cupboard under the stairs and how I felt so unhappy."

"DADA, MAMA!" James came crashing into the room on his broom, bouncing off the wall and landing on his parents. Talk about killing the moment, thought Ginny.

"Another thing, Ginny," Harry looked troubled.

"Yes?" Ginny asked, bouncing James on her knee and kissing his nose.

"You don't really feel that it was…..'Goodbye Dumbledore's Army and hello family,' do you? You don't feel that we rushed into being a family?"

"Oh gosh, no! I just wanted them to go away, I was going to say something normal, but I, kind of, panicked." she made a face and he chuckled.

She started playing "this is the way the ladies ride" with James, and he squealed delightedly every time he fell through her legs but Harry still looked worried.

"Hey," Ginny said softly, "I wouldn't change a single thing." Harry grinned and she leaned forward to kiss him, to which James shrieked in disgust and ran off to find Andromeda and Teddy.

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**Thanks you for reading!**

**A MAHOOSIVE thank you to my beta, my best friend here and in real life, _epitomeoffangirls_ (who I'm trying to get to finish her fics because I NEED to know what happens), because she is wonderful motivation and a brilliant proof-reader.**

**Also a big thank you to: _Blenda73, HarryPotterNut1, readingaddict24, katiek121, TheYellowScarvedGirl, serenityselena, macmillanluv _and _Old Voldy Went Moldy!_  
**

**And thank you to everyone who favourited, followed and just read it because it really makes my day when I see how many people read this!**

**Please follow/favourite and review because it really does help me - _constructive _criticism is greatly appreciated. Until the next time, LOVE YOU LOTS LIKE JELLY TOTS ~ theemotionalrangeofateaspoon xx**


	6. Epilogue

Everything had been talked about over a round of Butterbeer. During a huge Christmas Eve at the Potter's, with the entirety of the Weasley family, Andromeda and Teddy, Cho and Dudley, Harry, Ginny and James, this was no ordinary affair. Amidst the gift swapping and glasses of Firewhisky and pumpkin juice there came a surprise. Harry and Ginny had presented Cho and Dudley with their gifts, flight tickets to America, where Dudley had wanted to go see Vernon and Petunia.

"And actually, we have…oh gosh this is so cheesy!" Ginny cringed.

"We have another gift for you two. And an announcement," Harry grinned, barely able to contain his excitement, "Ginny's pregnant!"

A mixture of squeals from all the women in the room and wolf whistles from all the men surged from the crowd before them.

"And, well, it's a bit early but we already know that we want Dudley and Cho to be the godparents"

Dudley will never admit to the tear that slid down his cheek as he hugged Harry and Ginny, although Cho teases him enough about it.

Dudley and Cho's vows had been made, they had listened to the speeches and the cake had been cut. Everyone's goodbyes had been said, except one.

"See you, Big D" said Harry.

They hugged and went on their separate ways. But not for long this time.

"Bye Mum! Bye Dad!" Lily shouted from the compartment with her brothers.

As the train chugged out of the station, Harry and Ginny hung back with all the family. Even the Malfoys joined their group, the families having discovered Rose and Scorpius' relationship. Teddy watched Marie Dursley as the grown-ups chatted, even Ron and Draco. Dudley was positively aglow. He had a family of friends and a new lease of life. His child would never be brought up to fear or despise wizardry, she would be every bit the child that Dudley never was.

All was well.

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**Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Obviously it was EXTREMELY cheesy but, I like to romanticize things :3 I just wanted to tie up some little loose ends, some things I would have liked to have happened at the end of this story! Although, I did start squealing when I heard that Neville ended up being Albus's godfather!****  
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**Thanks to everyone who has read, favourited and followed. When I didn't have the motivation or ideas for writing you spurred me on and I'm SO happy to have finished this! **

**A big thanks to: _preeves, GoGoLexiRanger, serenityselena, LunaScamander17 and cedric dursley_ for reviewing, it really does mean the world to me!**

**A big thanks also to my AMAZING beta and best friend in real life and on here _epitomeoffangirls _(who still won't tell me how her fics end)!  
**

**So, last time speaking to you on this fic! Please favourite (there's not really much point in following it now, but you can if you want) and review - _constructive_ criticism is welcome, it will help me improve greatly! Until my next story,LOVE YOU LOTS AND LOTS LIKE JELLY TOTS ~theemotionalrangeofateaspoon xx**


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